At a recent Rockridge block party, I marveled to my neighbor that I’d never seen many of the people there—all of whom live just a few houses away and have been there for years.
“You need a dog,” she said. “Then you meet people.”
Really!? Should I dash to Oakland Animal Services just to meet neighbors? Maybe. Dogs are great conversation starters—or altercation starters, depending on the day. And adopting a rescue dog can save a life.
But here’s the thing: you don’t need a dog to meet people. It’s okay—more than okay—to talk to strangers. That simple “hi” can make the difference between loneliness and connection, between thinking “Rockridge isn’t friendly” and realizing it’s the friendliest neighborhood in the world.
Talk to longtime residents, and you’ll hear stories of Italians on stoops, sipping homemade wine, and chatting with passersby. While today we buy our $2 “Buck Chuck” at Trader Joe’s (or $20 Charles at Paul Marcus), community starts at home—with you.
Being Alone Doesn’t Mean Being Lonely
Want to feel more connected in Rockridge? Here’s how to get started:
1. Talk to Strangers
Cafes, shops, the $1 Oyster Tuesday line at Acre—locals are surprisingly chatty. Many of my best friendships started with a random comment at Hudson Bay, Highwire, Cole Coffee, or Belotti.
2. Say “Hi” While Walking
Don’t wait for others. On New Year’s Day, I was chatting with a friend when a woman joined in. She lives alone in Montclair but comes to Rockridge for coffee, shopping, and conversation!
I’ve met incredible long-time residents, from a Neapolitan recalling a grocery on James Street to a Genova Deli family member whose trashcan I helped carry. (New homeowners: connection gold.)
3. Join Clubs
- The Local Economy: Learn, meet new locals, and spark unexpected connections.
- Toastmasters: Overcome social anxiety, improve public speaking, and even join early-morning sessions on Zoom or 26th Street.
4. Take Classes
Rockridge is for learners—no commitment required. Ideas:
- Food-making at Preserved (DIY tofu!)
- Crafts at Studio One
- Succulent arranging at Westwind Succulents
- Dance at Danspace or Shawl Anderson
- Laney College Wood Tech classes for makers
Also check Meetup, Eventbrite, or Airbnb Experiences. Recently, I joined a philosophical stroll with strangers around Rockridge—fun and thought-provoking!
5. Help Neighbors
Rake leaves, carry groceries, prep for The Big One. Start with the art of noticing—simply paying attention. Once, I cleared two years’ worth of leaves from a hidden drain, and the “lake” on 51st and Lawton drained in minutes.
6. Join Online Communities
Rockridge Buy Nothing on Facebook or Nextdoor fosters giving and connection—and encourages in-person meetups. Don’t forget to subscribe to the Rockridge Voice for local updates.
7. Game the System
Board games, mahjong, or cards? Check out Game Spot on Telegraph, or the soon-to-open Table Top Library lounge near Star Grocery. (I host private events—get in touch!)
8. Walk or Hike
Start a casual group or join an online one. How about a Rockridge twice-weekly flatlands walk?
9. Read and Discuss
Book clubs are classic—but here’s a twist: listen to an audiobook chapter while walking, then discuss it with others.
10. Connect Spiritually
Rockridge and nearby neighborhoods offer religious, non-denominational, and spiritual communities open to newcomers.
Too Awkward to Talk to a Stranger?
Nope! Take a risk and…
- Observe.
- Comment or ask a question. (I once told a woman at The Chocolate Dragon I was about to get a haircut like hers—and asked to take a photo. She loved it.)
Years ago, I did a project called “Cafe a Day,” interviewing strangers at a different cafe every day. Some videos are on YouTube. Conversations ranged from funny to profound—and included baristas! Think of talking to strangers as a project. It’s low-risk, high-reward, and often delightful.
A few days after the block party, I drove up Lawton—and there they were: a couple I had never seen before, but had met at the party. Had I seen them before? Maybe. But it felt wonderful to recognize them now.
Meet Susie the second Fridays of each month at the Rockridge Library's: Ask the Home Experts, a drop-in Q&A session.
